Lead Us Not Into Temptation

I received a call from an ole’ beau’ via my Psychology Today business posting, a couple of months ago. My husband and I were watching TV around 11:00 p.m. on a Sunday night when the call came in. We discussed the missed call. The following morning, I returned the call. Because I know the person is married, has children, and is pastoring a church, I dialed the number and said, “Hello, Reverend, I see that I missed a call from you lastnight. Is everything okay? Is there some type of emergency?” He responded by asking me if I’d forgotten his name in the twenty-plus years since we’ve spoken and inquired about why I was calling him “Reverend”. I told him I had not forgotten his name (and thought to myself… I just want to keep you reminded of who you are). He then proceeded to ask, if he were having an emergency, was I coming to his rescue. Hence, the “Reverend” reminder wasn’t working…the question was coy (playful) and flirtatious. I responded by asking him why he was calling. He explained that someone brought up my name and he thought he’d find me and see how I was doing. He asked why I was being tense and standoffish. I apologized and explained that I am married, with two children, and my husband and I are in marriage ministry and that I usually admonish couples of the dangers of relationships or friendships with old girlfriends and boyfriends. I asked how he advises members of his congregation via pastoral counseling and he shared his perspective which was….”if a person is going to cheat, they are going to cheat regardless of who they are in contact with on or off Social Media sites”….”you have to be mature enough to have a friendship”. He went on to say that he was “sorry I wasn’t mature enough” to have a friendship with an old friend. I didn’t take the “bait”. I wished him the best and hung up. A month later a Facebook friend, former college beau’ emailed me that he was impressed with my postings and proud of the woman I’ve become. He didn’t make the comment on the posting, but inboxed me via my business email account – a simple, sincere, “I’m wishing you well” or “bait”... it’s hard to tell. Hence, I responded with a polite “thank you”.  I can tell by Facebook postings, pictures, comments, etc. that people have different and sometimes mixed thoughts about whether to be friends with ole’ loves now that they are married. Some of us are okay with being Facebook friends and not actual friends, some want to be both, and others don’t want to be either. My husband and I decide together on a case by case basis, with the scripture, “….lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil (Matthew 6:13) in mind.

I think married people should avoid friendships with people they have had strong feeling for and/or a strong attraction to in the past. So, even though I came across as mad at my old friend, I wasn’t mad, I was protecting myself, protecting my marriage, protecting my children and all of the growth and progress I’ve made as a Christian woman. I am mature enough to understand and know what things, people, etc. I should avoid. It’s dangerous to pretend we are not human, that we would never, ever be attracted to anyone else, or that our bond is so strong that no one can break it. Sometimes the danger lies in our flesh, but other times the issue/danger is even larger than our flesh. Ephesians 6:12, reminds us: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers , against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (NIV). What do you think?